So yesterday was Jacob's 32nd birthday and not the most exciting birthday you could imagine. Jacob was on call Wednesday so he got home on Thursday around 1:00. He managed about 4 hours of sleep so that was a plus. He was probably dreading coming home due to the voicemail of a sick wife (Yes, I have been sick since Sunday afternoon and am a little bitter about it) , trying to hold back the tears, asking him to pick up some sudafed on the way home. And that is what he found when he got home too.
No birthday cake and dinner waiting, no happy hugs and kisses, just a small attempt at a smile and then "Can you please get me a glass of water so I can take some of that medicine now!" After a chat with his parents, (which ended abruptly because he got a page he had to answer, he forgot to give his pager to the on-call resident) we both attempted a nap which went over kind of, the kind of due to Kristian deciding he didn't need a nap.
By 5 the sudafed was starting to kick in enough for me to feel about 10% human so I managed to get online and order Jacob's favorite pan pizza from pizza hut that we even had delivered. I figure hey, it was his birthday, he deserves a splurge and it was that or cereal.
We opened presents while waiting for the pizza to arrive, which Jacob played up for the kids, even though they had already told him about 2 weeks ago what I had bought for him. Surprises don't last long with a 6 and 3 year old. We then enjoyed watching his new DVD as a family all snuggled on the bed. Now we are thinking we need a king :)
And that about summed up his birthday. Oh, Doug called just before we went to bed which was nice because Jacob finally got to talk to someone about baseball and steroids. We have attempted this conversation but I think Doug gave him more of the feedback he was looking for.
So it wasn't the perfect birthday and defiantly not what I had in mind a week ago, but we salvaged it the best we could. Happy Birthday Sweetheart!! I love you!!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Couples Survey
I saw this on a cousin's blog and I couldn't fight the addiction so here it is.
1. What are your middle names? Willis, and ____.
2. How long have you been together? We just celebrated our 8th anniversary in December and we met 6 months previous to that.
3. Do you have any children together? Yes. We have 3 or 4 depending on whether you are a Democrat or Republican (or whether you read this before or after the middle of March).
4. What about pets? yes, 3 or 4. Didn't I just answer this question. In reality we have not pets and don't ever plan to, we do have 21 chipmunks buried in the backyard, though.
5. Did you go to the same school? Yes, but never at the same time. I spent a few semesters at SUU before Melissa went there.
6. Are you from the same home town? No.
7. Do you live in the same town now? yup.
8. Who is the smartest? We're both pretty dumb. She's the accountant but I do the investing and the taxes. I'm the doctor, but she takes care of the kids when they're sick. I'd say we use our resources poorly.
9. Who is the most sensitive? It's hard to tell because Melissa cries at the drop of a hat when she's pregnant. By writing this I have probably moved myself down on the list so I'll say her.
10. Where is the first place you went to eat as a couple? I don't remember, but Melissa says Adriana's.
11. Do you wear matching clothes? My clothes never match except when I'm on call wearing scrubs. Melissa does a pretty good job of matching her clothes.
12. Where is the farthest you have traveled as a couple? Farthest from where? We've been to DC but we were living in Kentucky at the time. We've been to Calgary together while living in SLC. We came to Indiana together while living in Cedar City. Someday we'll leave the mainland then the answer will be more clearcut.
13. Who has the craziest exes? Melissa doesn't have any exes so by default it is me.
14. Who has the worst temper? It depends on which kid did something wrong.
15. Who does the cooking? Melissa, except when we are camping or eating outside.
16. Who's more social? Melissa.
17. Who is the neat freak? Melissa. This one isn't even close
18.Who is the most affectionate? Melissa.
19. Who is the most stubborn? Melissa, but most of the time she's right so she has cause (or so she tells me).
20. Who wakes up earlier? I do, but not by choice. When I have weekends off she usually gets up at least an hour before I do.
21.Where was your first date? Cedar City. We went to see Mission Impossible 2 (it was as dumb then as it is now). The date was cut short because my buddies dog got sprayed by a skunk so we dropped of the girls and went home to clean up the dog.
22.Who said I love you first? Me, but I don't remember it. She can tell me the time and place as well as what we were both wearing.
23.How did you spend your 1st year anniversary? Suffering through the Ballet. I planned the honeymoon so I told Melissa it was her responsibility to plan the first anniversary. Needless to say we do not take turns anymore.
24. Who has the bigger family? Melissa has a brother who's 6'4", but I've got a brother who outweighs him so it depends on how you define bigger.
25. Who is younger? Melissa
26. Who is the life of the party? It depends on the party.
27. Who do you hope your kids turn out more like? Melissa, she was nerdy in high school and it has served her well. She caused her parents no stress and she's married to a doctor. Jacob on the other hand was the blacksheep of his family. He didn't get a real job until he was 31 and is addicted to blog tags. Pretty easy choice if you ask me.
28. Who wears the pants in the family? I do, but I consult the minions from time to time.
29. Whats your favorite thing to do together? Talk in the no-kids-allowed living room.
30. Do you have the same political views? Yup. I tell Melissa my views and she agrees, though she didn't vote for our current president.
31. Who has the most stuff? If you count all the stuff in the house like couches and tables and such then it is Melissa hands down, but since she says that stuff is ours then it's probably me.
32. Who controls the remote? I dust for fingerprints everyday just to make sure Melissa hasn't touched them.
33. Who does the driving? I do the majority of it.
34. Who takes out the garbage? Apparently it is supposed to me. I take it out more than I clean the bathrooms.
35. Who does the cleaning? I haven't cleaned a bathroom in 8 years. I've cleaned the garage 3 times since moving here. I've probably vacuumed the garage 20 times in the last 7 months and I think I may have turned on the house vacuum 7 times in the last 20 months. I do manage to wipe my own Patoosh so at least I'm ahead of the kids (though Spencer is catching up fast).
36. Who does the laundry? I matched the socks last night because Melissa was sick, but I think that is the first time I've done that in a while.
37. Who is the funniest? It was Melissa's idea to say I wipe myself so I'll let you decide.
1. What are your middle names? Willis, and ____.
2. How long have you been together? We just celebrated our 8th anniversary in December and we met 6 months previous to that.
3. Do you have any children together? Yes. We have 3 or 4 depending on whether you are a Democrat or Republican (or whether you read this before or after the middle of March).
4. What about pets? yes, 3 or 4. Didn't I just answer this question. In reality we have not pets and don't ever plan to, we do have 21 chipmunks buried in the backyard, though.
5. Did you go to the same school? Yes, but never at the same time. I spent a few semesters at SUU before Melissa went there.
6. Are you from the same home town? No.
7. Do you live in the same town now? yup.
8. Who is the smartest? We're both pretty dumb. She's the accountant but I do the investing and the taxes. I'm the doctor, but she takes care of the kids when they're sick. I'd say we use our resources poorly.
9. Who is the most sensitive? It's hard to tell because Melissa cries at the drop of a hat when she's pregnant. By writing this I have probably moved myself down on the list so I'll say her.
10. Where is the first place you went to eat as a couple? I don't remember, but Melissa says Adriana's.
11. Do you wear matching clothes? My clothes never match except when I'm on call wearing scrubs. Melissa does a pretty good job of matching her clothes.
12. Where is the farthest you have traveled as a couple? Farthest from where? We've been to DC but we were living in Kentucky at the time. We've been to Calgary together while living in SLC. We came to Indiana together while living in Cedar City. Someday we'll leave the mainland then the answer will be more clearcut.
13. Who has the craziest exes? Melissa doesn't have any exes so by default it is me.
14. Who has the worst temper? It depends on which kid did something wrong.
15. Who does the cooking? Melissa, except when we are camping or eating outside.
16. Who's more social? Melissa.
17. Who is the neat freak? Melissa. This one isn't even close
18.Who is the most affectionate? Melissa.
19. Who is the most stubborn? Melissa, but most of the time she's right so she has cause (or so she tells me).
20. Who wakes up earlier? I do, but not by choice. When I have weekends off she usually gets up at least an hour before I do.
21.Where was your first date? Cedar City. We went to see Mission Impossible 2 (it was as dumb then as it is now). The date was cut short because my buddies dog got sprayed by a skunk so we dropped of the girls and went home to clean up the dog.
22.Who said I love you first? Me, but I don't remember it. She can tell me the time and place as well as what we were both wearing.
23.How did you spend your 1st year anniversary? Suffering through the Ballet. I planned the honeymoon so I told Melissa it was her responsibility to plan the first anniversary. Needless to say we do not take turns anymore.
24. Who has the bigger family? Melissa has a brother who's 6'4", but I've got a brother who outweighs him so it depends on how you define bigger.
25. Who is younger? Melissa
26. Who is the life of the party? It depends on the party.
27. Who do you hope your kids turn out more like? Melissa, she was nerdy in high school and it has served her well. She caused her parents no stress and she's married to a doctor. Jacob on the other hand was the blacksheep of his family. He didn't get a real job until he was 31 and is addicted to blog tags. Pretty easy choice if you ask me.
28. Who wears the pants in the family? I do, but I consult the minions from time to time.
29. Whats your favorite thing to do together? Talk in the no-kids-allowed living room.
30. Do you have the same political views? Yup. I tell Melissa my views and she agrees, though she didn't vote for our current president.
31. Who has the most stuff? If you count all the stuff in the house like couches and tables and such then it is Melissa hands down, but since she says that stuff is ours then it's probably me.
32. Who controls the remote? I dust for fingerprints everyday just to make sure Melissa hasn't touched them.
33. Who does the driving? I do the majority of it.
34. Who takes out the garbage? Apparently it is supposed to me. I take it out more than I clean the bathrooms.
35. Who does the cleaning? I haven't cleaned a bathroom in 8 years. I've cleaned the garage 3 times since moving here. I've probably vacuumed the garage 20 times in the last 7 months and I think I may have turned on the house vacuum 7 times in the last 20 months. I do manage to wipe my own Patoosh so at least I'm ahead of the kids (though Spencer is catching up fast).
36. Who does the laundry? I matched the socks last night because Melissa was sick, but I think that is the first time I've done that in a while.
37. Who is the funniest? It was Melissa's idea to say I wipe myself so I'll let you decide.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Home Teaching Message
So our home teacher came over today and shared a message with us. It was very enlightening, here's the gist of it:
"Life; The residency of eternity."
I'm going to have to get Krista to make me a stitch of that to put on my wall.
Thanks John.
"Life; The residency of eternity."
I'm going to have to get Krista to make me a stitch of that to put on my wall.
Thanks John.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Coping with Stress During a Call Month
Oh no not Jake writing another drawn out saga on how he can't handle the rigors of life. Nope not this time, had I written this last night that's what you might have gotten, but today I am post call and when I'm on a medicine month I suffer from bipolar disease. One day life sucks and nothing good can come of anything then the next day everything is peaches and cream. Today is, of course, peaches and cream.
So during some of my downtime (both downtime from work and downtime psychologically) last night I surfed the internet to find studies about resident burnout and depression. There's a little mnemonic that is often used for depression, SIGECAPS.
Sleep Disorder - check
Interest deficit - up for debate
Guilt - check (I feel guilty when I'm not studying during my downtime)
Energy deficit - check (this comes from the sleep disorder)
Concentration deficit - not really
Appetite Disorder - check, check (have I mentioned my 15 pound weight loss in July and again this month, if I can combine that with some exercise I might actually get down to a healthier weight come June)
Psychomotor retardation or agitation - check (very agitated, and I often feel retarded in rounds)
Suicidality - check (just kidding).
So how can I cope with this stress? The internet had answers for me! What did people do before google? One article said the following 5 categories were essential for maintaining wellness.
1. Relationships: this category includes relationships with friends, family, colleagues, and community;
2. Religion/spirituality: this includes involvement in organized religion as well as meditation or prayer;
3. Self-care: make time to take care of you! This category includes hobbies, exercise, good nutrition, avoidance of drugs and alcohol, personal counseling and treatment of depression. Don't forget to have fun!
4. Work: we need to find ways to make our work more meaningful and satisfactory for ourselves. Ideas include suggesting shift schedules that are more circadian friendly, adopting a night float system, debriefing difficult cases with others at work, and planning wellness events with other residents; and
5. Approaches to life: it's important to be generally positive about the journey you are on, maintaining balance, and focusing on your successes.Each of us is different, but here are some quick ideas for enhancing your personal wellness:
Now I know not too many of you who read this blog are residents (excepting Jon of course), but I'm sure all of you probably deal with stress in your lives too. In addition to that you are probably good at a few of the 9 things in the middle of the list. So if you feel so inclined I'm curious to know how you (or those you know) do well at those things, especially during the winter months.
So during some of my downtime (both downtime from work and downtime psychologically) last night I surfed the internet to find studies about resident burnout and depression. There's a little mnemonic that is often used for depression, SIGECAPS.
Sleep Disorder - check
Interest deficit - up for debate
Guilt - check (I feel guilty when I'm not studying during my downtime)
Energy deficit - check (this comes from the sleep disorder)
Concentration deficit - not really
Appetite Disorder - check, check (have I mentioned my 15 pound weight loss in July and again this month, if I can combine that with some exercise I might actually get down to a healthier weight come June)
Psychomotor retardation or agitation - check (very agitated, and I often feel retarded in rounds)
Suicidality - check (just kidding).
So how can I cope with this stress? The internet had answers for me! What did people do before google? One article said the following 5 categories were essential for maintaining wellness.
1. Relationships: this category includes relationships with friends, family, colleagues, and community;
2. Religion/spirituality: this includes involvement in organized religion as well as meditation or prayer;
3. Self-care: make time to take care of you! This category includes hobbies, exercise, good nutrition, avoidance of drugs and alcohol, personal counseling and treatment of depression. Don't forget to have fun!
4. Work: we need to find ways to make our work more meaningful and satisfactory for ourselves. Ideas include suggesting shift schedules that are more circadian friendly, adopting a night float system, debriefing difficult cases with others at work, and planning wellness events with other residents; and
5. Approaches to life: it's important to be generally positive about the journey you are on, maintaining balance, and focusing on your successes.Each of us is different, but here are some quick ideas for enhancing your personal wellness:
- Develop a personal philosophy and prioritize your goals;
- Maintain healthy relationships and set aside time with those people to talk about your feelings;
- Take care of yourself by eating right, exercising, sleeping when you can, and doing the things that make you YOU!
- Find something about each day that brings you joy, including joy at work, such as a positive patient interaction or learning pearl;
- Block off times in your schedule for important things such as family time, exercise, or social events, and make sure you prioritize them;
- Appreciate your accomplishments and growth during this time;
- Learn to say "no" to commitments that are not important to you (although they may be important to someone else), so that you can say "yes" to those that are important to you; and
- Learn where your resources are and don't hesitate to use them.
Now I know not too many of you who read this blog are residents (excepting Jon of course), but I'm sure all of you probably deal with stress in your lives too. In addition to that you are probably good at a few of the 9 things in the middle of the list. So if you feel so inclined I'm curious to know how you (or those you know) do well at those things, especially during the winter months.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Bits and Pieces
Nothing really special brings me to the blog today but I figured it has been a while and I can always ramble.
Thought 1 - I am tired. I notice that at about 1:00 every day I am hit with a grand piano and can't seem to shake off the effects. I remember feeling this way in all my pregnancy's (especially towards the end) but that doesn't mean I like it. Yesterday it was very apparent to me as church finished at 2:30 and Jacob was on-call . Yikes, I must look like a zombie during Sharing Time.
Thought 2 - It might be time to start potty training again. Although technically Jessi still has the occasional accident and has to wear a diaper to bed so maybe I never finished potty training. Anyhow, Kristian came up to me this morning and told me he had to go poo-poo. I thought this meant he had already gone and checked and told him he was fine. He then proceeded to go into my bathroom and attempt to push Spencer off so he could get on. After calming down Spencer, I put him on, just to appease him, and low and behold, he went pee. When he woke up from his nap he told me again he needed to go poo-poo. And once again, he delivered and actually went poo-poo. This is awesome but it also scares me. We started early with Jessi and potty trained for a year and I know I am not up to that again. What to do, what to do??
Thought 3 - Thank heavens for sewing night. I haven't worked on any sewing projects except on sewing night for quite a while. If there were no sewing night my machine would be sitting idly in the corner. It's not that I don't have any projects I could be working on, it is more just trying to get up the energy to start on one. (see thought 1) Also, I have a great time at sewing night. It is such a relief to have a night to just sit and chat with other women without any children interrupting, Ah a slice of heaven.
Thought 4 - Taxes in America are messed up. Due to the fact that we have multiple deductions (3 kids) and only a half years salary this year, and bought a new house this year, we will be getting a sizable tax refund. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I am way excited to get to have some splurging money, but the amount to me just doesn't seem right. We have a nice home, and a great job, and are getting by in a terrible economy, and yet we don't have to pay any taxes. Ah well, I comfort myself by reminding me that it will probably be the last year we get a return for the rest of our lives, so I should probably live it up.
Thought 5 - Connected to thought 4, what would you do if you had a sizable return to spend? After some thought, it was decided to parse ours about, including a rainy day fund, an investment fund, a home project starter fund, a conclusion to a loan repayment, and finally some splurge money. It's the splurging part I ask about. I keep changing my mind on what I would like to splurge on, (a new sewing machine, home decor, maybe a new bed frame) but one thing is final now (as we bought it on Saturday). A 32" flat screen TV and DVD player for the bedroom. I can't believe it. I don't know how I let up on this, I always said I would never have a TV in the room. Jacob hooked me when he promised it would never be connected to the dish and was strictly for watching movies in the comfort of the bed so we didn't have to keep fighting for laying room on the couch. Jacob was on call last night so I decided to give the TV a dry run and watched pride and prejudice. It was amazing. I never want to go back to watching a movie on our old "blurry" TV on the uncomfortable couch. Ah, my husband is so wise!!
Thought 6 - Teaching children "school stuff "has never been my strong point. I have little creativity and find that when they get frustrated, I get equally frustrated, or more. However, over the last month we have been trying to work with Spencer more on numbers and reading. I am happy to say he can now count to 100 and we are getting through some beginner reading books (with help). It is so interesting to me how I feel like I am banging my head up against a wall for days and then something clicks and wham, he just gets it. It has been very rewarding to see him so excited about his successes and that is the motivation I need to get through the banging my head against the wall days. Although I still wish those were minimized as more often than not, I give up, which only increases those number of days. Ah well, one step at a time.
Thought 7 - A final thought, I am no where near prepared for this baby as I have been for the others, and strangely, that doesn't stress me out to much. Since we don't know the sex I feel there is no sense in pulling out a ton of clothes, so instead I have pulled out none. And since we don't know what room the baby will go in ,the rooms are very gender specific and we (I should say I) want the baby in the matching boy or girl room, We haven't set up the crib. And since none of that is done why would I pull out the montage of baby items in our crawl space or even pack my bag for that matter. I can't believe I am not worried about this but honestly, I am not. Go figure, maybe I have learned a little bit about going with the flow. I truly hope so as I think that will be a big part of having four kids. I can't wait.
Thought 1 - I am tired. I notice that at about 1:00 every day I am hit with a grand piano and can't seem to shake off the effects. I remember feeling this way in all my pregnancy's (especially towards the end) but that doesn't mean I like it. Yesterday it was very apparent to me as church finished at 2:30 and Jacob was on-call . Yikes, I must look like a zombie during Sharing Time.
Thought 2 - It might be time to start potty training again. Although technically Jessi still has the occasional accident and has to wear a diaper to bed so maybe I never finished potty training. Anyhow, Kristian came up to me this morning and told me he had to go poo-poo. I thought this meant he had already gone and checked and told him he was fine. He then proceeded to go into my bathroom and attempt to push Spencer off so he could get on. After calming down Spencer, I put him on, just to appease him, and low and behold, he went pee. When he woke up from his nap he told me again he needed to go poo-poo. And once again, he delivered and actually went poo-poo. This is awesome but it also scares me. We started early with Jessi and potty trained for a year and I know I am not up to that again. What to do, what to do??
Thought 3 - Thank heavens for sewing night. I haven't worked on any sewing projects except on sewing night for quite a while. If there were no sewing night my machine would be sitting idly in the corner. It's not that I don't have any projects I could be working on, it is more just trying to get up the energy to start on one. (see thought 1) Also, I have a great time at sewing night. It is such a relief to have a night to just sit and chat with other women without any children interrupting, Ah a slice of heaven.
Thought 4 - Taxes in America are messed up. Due to the fact that we have multiple deductions (3 kids) and only a half years salary this year, and bought a new house this year, we will be getting a sizable tax refund. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I am way excited to get to have some splurging money, but the amount to me just doesn't seem right. We have a nice home, and a great job, and are getting by in a terrible economy, and yet we don't have to pay any taxes. Ah well, I comfort myself by reminding me that it will probably be the last year we get a return for the rest of our lives, so I should probably live it up.
Thought 5 - Connected to thought 4, what would you do if you had a sizable return to spend? After some thought, it was decided to parse ours about, including a rainy day fund, an investment fund, a home project starter fund, a conclusion to a loan repayment, and finally some splurge money. It's the splurging part I ask about. I keep changing my mind on what I would like to splurge on, (a new sewing machine, home decor, maybe a new bed frame) but one thing is final now (as we bought it on Saturday). A 32" flat screen TV and DVD player for the bedroom. I can't believe it. I don't know how I let up on this, I always said I would never have a TV in the room. Jacob hooked me when he promised it would never be connected to the dish and was strictly for watching movies in the comfort of the bed so we didn't have to keep fighting for laying room on the couch. Jacob was on call last night so I decided to give the TV a dry run and watched pride and prejudice. It was amazing. I never want to go back to watching a movie on our old "blurry" TV on the uncomfortable couch. Ah, my husband is so wise!!
Thought 6 - Teaching children "school stuff "has never been my strong point. I have little creativity and find that when they get frustrated, I get equally frustrated, or more. However, over the last month we have been trying to work with Spencer more on numbers and reading. I am happy to say he can now count to 100 and we are getting through some beginner reading books (with help). It is so interesting to me how I feel like I am banging my head up against a wall for days and then something clicks and wham, he just gets it. It has been very rewarding to see him so excited about his successes and that is the motivation I need to get through the banging my head against the wall days. Although I still wish those were minimized as more often than not, I give up, which only increases those number of days. Ah well, one step at a time.
Thought 7 - A final thought, I am no where near prepared for this baby as I have been for the others, and strangely, that doesn't stress me out to much. Since we don't know the sex I feel there is no sense in pulling out a ton of clothes, so instead I have pulled out none. And since we don't know what room the baby will go in ,the rooms are very gender specific and we (I should say I) want the baby in the matching boy or girl room, We haven't set up the crib. And since none of that is done why would I pull out the montage of baby items in our crawl space or even pack my bag for that matter. I can't believe I am not worried about this but honestly, I am not. Go figure, maybe I have learned a little bit about going with the flow. I truly hope so as I think that will be a big part of having four kids. I can't wait.
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