I am currently on my second shift of OB call. As my faithful readers have noted over the past I have a tendency to experience anxiety from time to time, and this OB month is no different. I do feel much better tonight than I did on Sunday night, but I'm still a little high strung. I've written and spoken ad nauseum about why I've experienced so much stress during this intern year, so I'm not going to go there. Rather, I would like to write about some of the things that help me overcome stress (that's the therapy part folks).
First of all I am somewhat seasoned at recognizing when I am getting anxious due to a few months during my second year of medical school that were laced with a great deal of anxiety and depression. I know what it feels like and I'm getting better at realizing when it is getting to the point where I need to elicit help outside of my wife and kids. The interesting thing about anxiety and moreso depression is that they are taboo subjects. There seems to be an unspoken rule that you can't really talk about this stuff because it is too embarrassing. The irony is that, for me at least, the best thing I can do when I get overanxious is to surround myself with people.
Melissa is really good at talking to me and helping me see when I'm getting irrational, and from time to time she makes me talk to some good friends or family because she knows it will help. That brings me to my support group. I have a few really good friends. I don't have a ton of friends but those that I do have are special (unless you are a lurker and I don't know you, you probably belong to this group). One such example is a family that Melissa and I got to know during medical school. When I was going through the worst of things back in Pikeville there were numerous times when we went over to visit them just so I could sit on the couch and talk about school (and sometimes avoid talking about school).
There have been a few specific times since we've been here in South Bend that I can remember some of our newer friends helping me to get over some of my anxiety. One time in particular we invited another family over for dinner and spent the evening talking about everything under the sun. Of course that included the good, bad and ugly surrounding residency and it was incredibly therapeutic to talk to someone who was puting into words the exact emotions I was having. There's something special about knowing that others understand how you feel from time to time.
I think we need more friends in this world. We all have stress from time to time and for whatever reason (I tend to blame genetics) some of us are able to handle that stress better than others, but because we all experience stress we are all qualified to be the one to lend the helping hand. A couple of years ago I was on the phone with a very good friend who seemed to know the exact right words to say to help me feel better and when we were done talking she told me to remember what she said so that I could say it back to her when the time came that she needed those words. The time did come and the words did help.
In the end I am especially grateful for all the friends I do have and I hope that I can return to you some measure of kindness and support that you have given me.
Well I've been paged so I gotta go. Stay tuned for future therapeutic ramblings.
4 comments:
I too tend to blame genetics.
The great thing about it being genetic though is that (as long as you're willing to open up and admit that you struggle) there is a wealth of people all around who completely empathize with what you're experiencing, which is always so comforting to me. In an added bonus, because of their intricate understanding of what you're experiencing and who you are, these same people nearly always have advice that proves to be right on target.
You know that of course. I'm just adding my two cents.
Hope you get feeling less anxiety soon.
(Isn't it nice to be at a point where you recognize the signs & triggers in time to do something about them? SO much better than the helpless hopeless feelings of yesteryear.)
I think I recognize the dinner. Nothing like some phenomenal cheesecake, shepherds pie and swapping miserable intern stories. That was great. I came away thinking at least there are two of us that don't know anything. I go to nights this week then I'm non call so we'll have to do something again when you and the fam have a minute. Because hey misery or at least insanity loves company.
hey internship really sucked. but the memories are fading fast now that i am an attending.
email me for future therapy sessions.
I'm glad you're able to talk about your depression so openly. It's rare to be able to be honest about it, but especially, I think, for a man, for some reason. I've dealt with a lot of it myself and have come to the same state as you, where I recognize its onset and know when something needs to be done about it. (Hi, can you say bed rest???) Anyway, it's good that you can see when it's coming and cope with it before it controls you. And I know you're going to be an excellent doctor, if that takes even the tiniest bit of stress off.
Post a Comment