A Sincere Quest for Approval

Sometimes I spend more time working on a title for my posts than I do actually writing (that may have already been very evident to any of you readers out there).

I've spent some time lately thinking about some of the things that motivate me and I've realized that while I think I do a lot of things for altruistic reasons I also enjoy the approval of others. I think to a certain point we all enjoy approval, at least from a select group of "important" people. Everybody likes receiving compliments. Nothing lights up Melissa like when I tell her how nice she looks (I'm unsure if her reaction would dim if I were to tell her that as often as I think it).

I've written (and talked to those who would listen) ad naseum about some of my difficulties with residency and one of those is the lack of external approval. There are no regularly scheduled tests that show me how well I'm doing. How healthy my patients are is an extremely poor way to measure my performance. I've learned a whole lot from all my mistakes over the past year and it seems that most of my feedback from attendings has come during those times, so rather than getting approval I get reproval. I'm not blaming anyone (except maybe myself for not complimenting others enough). It's just the nature of the beast. I think all jobs have a portion of this, though I can only relate to the hotel business and the pizza business. I think maybe this contributes to why I always wear a tie to my clinics and frequently wear a suit or sport coat. I'm pretty sure I'm better at being a doctor than I am at being a snappy dresser (What can I say? I am my father's son, sorry dad (Have you noticed how much I like parentheses?))))))), but I have gotten a lot more compliments on how I dress than I have on how I doctor.

The blogging world has shown me that I'm not alone in this quest for approval. Everybody likes getting comments. It means people are listening and by commenting the blogger feels validated, at least that's what I think.

I have an "important" person list of people whose approval I crave and as you know from previous posts Melissa and my parents are at the top of that list, but they are not alone. There are others, some who read this blog, some who don't and at least one who didn't but does now (he's pretty high on the list and has been for as long as I can remember).

There are probably a lot of people out there who are more self-assured than I, and there are probably a lot of folks who are less self-assured than I. Whichever of these two groups of people you fit into I want to express my appreciation for your time. I'm glad that you took the time to read this far. I'm grateful that you are a part of our lives. I'm grateful for those of you on the right who post from time to time and let us into your lives.

Without further ado here are some pictures from my recent backpacking trip in Michigan. How's that for a segway?

Best apple ever.

I look a lot worse for wear than Clint in this picture which wouldn't be too bad except for the fact that his pack was about 40 lbs heavier than mine.

Labor Day Weekend

There are pictures that go along with some of our activities this weekend, but you'll have to wait for Melissa to post them or go check them out on facebook.

We had originally planned to go camping at least for Friday night and most of Saturday, but found that all of the campgrounds around South Bend require one to make a 3 day reservation for the holiday weekend. Obviously we weren't going to be doing that so we had to make new plans. Having told the kids we were going camping I was in a bind so we decided to have a backyard campout on Friday night.

We figured Melissa could stay inside with Kamryn, while the rest of us spent the night in the tent. I set up the tent in the middle of the lawn and started a fire so we could cook our tinfoil dinners (I believe you are only allowed to have an open fire if it is 40 feet from the nearest structure so we certainly weren't following any laws there). After eating Melissa decided she didn't want to be left alone inside so we put up Kami's pack-n-play inside the tent and altered the sleeping arrangements a little in order to accommodate mom and daughter. Melissa and I sat next to the fire while the kids tried to stop playing in the tent long enough to fall asleep. The bugs are a lot louder here than back home. Waking up with the tent walls all wet with condensation was a little different. Other than those two things the backyard campout was a success. In the morning the kids got up and went inside to watch Saturday morning cartoons, you just can't beat that.

Saturday we went tailgaiting before the Notre Dame game. Always a fun time though the wasps made for some new excitement. We thought we might make it all the way through without anybody getting stung until Melissa put her hand on one as she was attempting to get up from the grass as we were packing up. The games went great all day on Saturday.

Today we went to get some new light fixtures at Lowes and on the way home we decided to brave the movie theater for a family movie. The cheap theater has 50 cent Mondays for families over 3 and we certainly have more than 3 of us. We had never taken Kami to a movie so we weren't sure how this would pan out, but she fell asleep 15 minutes into Ice Age and didn't wake up until we got home. The other three kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

I also went running this morning so it's been a great few days for us here.

Week 1

Week one of the 2009 college football season was a good one for me, and here is what I learned:

1. Boise State will once again be undefeated at the end of the season and once again will be shut out of the BCS.

2. Utah could be great this year, but their win against the Aggies proved about as much as Florida's win against that peewee team they played. The Utes made a lot of mistakes that they certainly won't be able to overcome in games against TCU, BYU and Oregon, but if they can find a way to win, as they did so often last year, they may find themselves playing for something bigger this year.

3. Notre Dame looks good and Weiss may be sticking around, but it is too early to tell for sure. Nevada plays in the same conference as Utah State and both are whipping boys for BSU. In reality the Irish should be favored to win all but one of their games this year and when they play that game against the Trojans we'll know whether or not they're for real.

4. BYU is a lot better than the media is giving them credit for. Oklahoma lost a lot up front and their receiving corps has been downgraded from last year, but their running game did next to nothing against the Cougars. Bradford played most of the first half and if not for the Cougars mistakes leading to Sooner scores this game would not have been so close. BYU was the better team last night. If the big three in the MWC can get through the season with only losses to each other it is conceivable that one of the three if undefeated may actually get a shot at the national title. Heck if Oklahoma deserves a shot for running the table from here on out then the team that beat them certainly merits some mention in the conversation if they are undefeated at year end. Unfortunately for Boise State the BCS will not be inviting two outsiders to their dance this year or any year in the forseable future.

5. Ohio State is a joke again. Here's hoping they lose a game or two so we don't have to watch them get embarrassed again in January. Oh yeah, the embarrassment comes next week with USC.

Sawdust Special

This morning before Spencer left for school he told me his tummy hurt. This is about an everyday occasion for Spencer so I told him he would be fine and to eat his breakfast. After breakfast he told me he was cold from drinking his milk. Once again, an every day occurrence, so I told him to put on his jacket. He left for school and we began to get ready for the day here at home. At 8:45 the school nurse called to tell us Spencer had thrown up in school and needed to be picked up.

When I asked him what happened he said "My stomach started to hurt and then I threw up on my desk, then I threw up in my class, then I threw up in the hall, and then I threw up in the toilet." Oh yes, it is a sawdust special day at Darden in the first grade hall.

What a Man, What a Man, What a Man, What a Mighty Good Man!

Need I say more. Probably not, but when has that ever stopped me. Jacob installed these new floors this last week. He started the project Tuesday evening and finished Saturday afternoon. He would get home from work, change clothes, and go right to work on the floors until the kids bedtime. He was so focused on finishing as fast as he could so that I wouldn't have to have the kitchen torn apart for long. Yes I know, he is amazing. I love, love, love theses floors!!! They make me so happy. They lighten up the kitchen, open up the hallway, and reflect the natural light in the house beautifully. So far, I think this is my favorite remodel project results. Thanks sweetheart.